Why your habits aren’t “bad”, they’re just outdated
Most people think behaviour change is about motivation and discipline. But the Luke Mathers conversation flips that idea: habits aren’t moral failures. They’re learned patterns that once made sense and now run on autopilot, even when they’re no longer useful.
That matters in 2026 because many high-performing people feel stuck in the same loop. They know what to do, they even want to do it, but they can’t do it consistently. The missing piece usually isn’t information. It’s understanding what the brain is prioritising in the moment.
Behaviour change is less about willpower and more about cues, safety, and reinforcement. Your brain repeats what’s familiar because familiar feels safe. This article breaks down the habit loop, why change feels hard on busy days, and gives practical ways to redesign cues so consistency becomes easier.
Your habits aren’t “bad”, they’re outdated
Luke Mathers describes a “curious habit” as something you think, feel, or do that no longer serves you. The keyword is curious.
Because most habits begin as solutions. They reduce stress. They create short-term relief. They help you cope, perform, or get through a season.
The problem is what happens later. The habit stays, even when the context has changed.
So instead of “What’s wrong with me?”, the better question becomes:
“What was this habit protecting me from, and is it still needed?”
That reframe removes shame and makes room for practical change.
Your brain prioritises safety first
A simple way to interpret this: the brain is designed to keep you safe, not to keep you happy.
That “safety-first” setting often looks like:
- choosing the familiar option when you’re tired
- avoiding discomfort when your stress is high
- reaching for short-term relief when you feel overloaded
On an 'easy-to-manage', you can think clearly and make deliberate choices. On a high-load day, the brain looks for patterns it already trusts. That’s why people revert to defaults even when they “know better”.
The habit loop: cue → behaviour → reward
A practical model Luke leans on is the habit loop:
- Cue: something that happens (a time, place, emotion, situation)
- Behaviour: what you do next
- Reward: what you get (often relief, comfort, control, distraction)
Over time, the reward reinforces the behaviour in that same context. That’s why the loop can feel “automatic”.
Luke also makes a useful language shift: cues instead of triggers.
“Trigger” implies helplessness. “Cue” implies awareness and design.
You’re not weak. Your brain is doing its job: prioritising safety and reducing perceived threat.
Under load, not in perfect conditions
Your habits don’t get tested on your best days. They get tested when life is full, or in other words, busy.
This is where people misread the situation. They think, “I’m inconsistent.”
More often, it’s: “I’m overloaded, and my defaults are taking over.”
Common high-load moments where the loop runs the show:
- You’re cooked after work, and decision fatigue is high
- You’re stressed and reactive, and you want immediate relief
- You’re tired and chasing comfort because it’s the fastest off-ramp
The “problem” isn’t that you don’t care. It’s that your system is conserving energy and reducing risk.
That’s why behaviour change plans that depend on motivation tend to fail at the exact time you need them most.
Don’t expect change to feel easy
If your brain treats “new” as risk, then behaviour change will often feel uncomfortable at first.
Not because it’s wrong. Because it’s unfamiliar.
This is where a lot of people will bail out. They assume discomfort means the plan isn’t working. But early discomfort often means you’re interrupting the autopilot.
A more realistic expectation is:
- Repetition beats motivation.
- Change is usually quiet and boring before it becomes “normal”.
- You’re not trying to win one day. You’re trying to build a default.
How to make behaviour change easier (without relying on willpower)
Luke’s angle is simple: don’t fight behaviour. Change the conditions that create it. That’s cue engineering.
1) Identify the cue, not just the behaviour
Instead of “I keep doing X”, ask:
- When do I do it?
- Where am I?
- What am I feeling?
- What happens right before it?
The cue is often predictable once you look for it.
2) Name the real reward (it’s usually relief)
A lot of “bad habits” are relief habits.
- scrolling = distraction from pressure
- snacking = comfort and regulation
- checking email = control
- skipping training = avoidance of effort when energy feels low
If you don’t name the reward, you’ll keep trying to remove the behaviour without replacing what it’s providing.
3) Plant a competing cue (make the better option easier to start)
Luke’s doorway example is a clean template: use a physical moment as a switch into your “best self” mode.
You can apply that without needing the exact same story:
- a doorway cue before you walk into home life
- a 10-second cue before you open your laptop
- a cue that signals “training starts now” (clothes laid out, shoes by the door)
- The point isn’t the object. It’s the repeatable signal that starts the behaviour you want.
4) Reduce friction for the habit you want
If your goal habit requires too many steps when you’re tired, it won’t survive real life.
Make the first step tiny and obvious. Build the chain later.
5) Keep the rule behaviour-first (not dose-first)
A save-worthy rule:
- If you keep falling into the same pattern, change the cue, not your personality.
That keeps you out of self-judgement and inside a design mindset.
